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did I scare off a new member of our professional organization?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: This isn’t for my job, but it’s for a nonprofit organization related to my career that involves some level of professionalism. I’m afraid that I scared off a new member by coming on too strong to her. I volunteer at a STEM-related organization that mentors children. My position is at the state […]

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 7 hours 38 minutes ago

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new coworker told me to “slow down,” suing the government, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. What if hiring a spouse is truly the best choice? I know that having a manager supervising their partner is fraught with peril — I have read enough AAM to have some great examples! But if the partner is truly the best candidate, are there […]

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 18 hours 34 minutes ago

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update: anti-vax employee is pressuring a coworker not to vaccinate her baby

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer whose anti-vax employee was pressuring a coworker not to vaccinate her baby? Here’s the update. I really appreciated your advice and several of the thoughts from the commenters as well. I have weekly one-on-ones with each member of my team, so after reading your response, I used that next meeting with Cordelia […]

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 1 day 4 hours ago

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update: my doctor’s office constantly leaves me on hold — how do I deal with this at work?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer whose doctor’s office constantly left them on hold while they needed to be working? Here’s the update. I wrote in a few months ago about struggling to schedule doctor’s appointments when I worked at a busy reception desk. Thanks very much to both you and the kind commenters who offered sympathy and […]

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 1 day 6 hours ago

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can I use dark humor at work?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2019. A reader writes: I have a dark sense of humor. I now realize that my boss does not. During a standard “how was your day off” conversation between my supervisor, manager, and a few peers, my […]

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 1 day 7 hours ago

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canceling a women’s group because of DEI concerns, can I accept a job offer on the spot, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Canceling a women’s group because of DEI concerns I’m a PhD student and it seems like my university is trying to cancel the Women in Computer Science networking group that I run. They’re going about it in a really weird way: rather than directly saying […]

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 1 day 18 hours ago

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weekend open thread – February 15-16, 2025

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Piglet, by Lottie Hazell. After her fiance confesses a betrayal two weeks before their wedding, a woman becomes inexplicably ravenous. (Amazon, Bookshop) * […]

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 3 days 23 hours ago

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open thread – February 14, 2025

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

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 4 days 7 hours ago

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boss said “someone’s parents didn’t love them” about me, how to work with a former manager I can’t stand, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Boss said, “Well, someone’s parents didn’t love them” about me In preparation for a team-building retreat, all employees in my department were asked to submit a baby photo for a “match the baby photo to the employee” icebreaker activity. The request for baby photos was […]

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 4 days 18 hours ago

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hiring manager wants to fire my mentor and replace him with me

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’m in a quandary and really second-guessing a decision I made regarding an offer that was made to me a couple of weeks ago. I work for a company that makes, let’s say, teapots. I recently found out that Cersei, the director of a different teapot-making company, wants to fire her entire […]

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 5 days 4 hours ago

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who should tell employees about raises?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’ve been a manager at my company for 13 years. I have a team of five direct reports and meet with them for one-on-ones every one to two weeks. We review projects, develop strategies for hurdles, discuss what’s working and what’s not, and where they would like to see their careers go. […]

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 5 days 6 hours ago

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how to stay professional when you’re full of rage at your job

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: A year ago, my boss was promoted into a new role at my company. I took on my boss’ job, in addition to my regular job, with my grandboss implying that I would soon be promoted into my boss’s old job. Well, you can guess […]

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 5 days 7 hours ago

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interview felt like an exam, HR is sending everyone Valentine’s Day candy “from” other coworkers, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Interview felt like an exam I had my first job interview in over 20 years yesterday, and it felt like an exam. Five people peppered me with a long list of questions, mostly hypotheticals. None of the questions were about my experience or my training. […]

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 5 days 18 hours ago

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the questionable drop-off, the kazoo lover, and other tales of carpooling for work

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Last week, we talked about carpooling for work, and here are eight of my favorite stories you shared — some heartwarming, some not. 1. The kazoo music I fondly think of the coworker who, when I offered her the aux cable to play music off her device, looked hesitant and then said, “Look, I need […]

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 6 days 4 hours ago

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my employee loves his job — but is bad at it

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader asks: I manage a team and have run into a problem with “Bob,” one of my employees. Bob loves this job. Tells me almost every day how much he loves being at this company. But as much as he loves his job, he’s not very good at it. He’s gotten us incorrect information […]

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 6 days 6 hours ago

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more questions from people whose jobs are under attack by the new administration

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Here’s part 2 of questions from federal workers who are currently under attack by the administration, as well as others affected by the fall-out. Part 1 (and an explanation of what’s going on) was here. 1. For those of us staying, how do we deal with this? For those of us choosing to stay and […]

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 6 days 7 hours ago

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is “hey” rude, did our coworker fake-retire, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is “hey” rude? I have a former boss who asked all staff at a tiny nonprofit not to use the greeting “hey” to her. I think this is imperious and out of touch, at best. What do you think? It’s a bit much, but there’s […]

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 6 days 18 hours ago

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my employee regularly forgets important details and entire conversations

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: About four months ago I hired a new employee, Arnold. He interviewed very well, and the other interviewers on the panel agreed he was the best candidate. However now I am starting to see some serious gaps in ability. The biggest issue is that Arnold totally forgets entire conversations we’ve had. Some […]

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 1 week ago

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coworker swears angrily during the day

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: My office is next to a person who swears a lot during the work day. I assume it’s frustration with his computer, but a least a couple times an hour I’ll hear an onslaught of expletives coming from his desk. It’s pretty disconcerting to hear and it’s also really distracting. Otherwise, he’s […]

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 1 week ago

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my company announced a “biggest loser” weight loss contest

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: My company announced a “biggest loser” weight loss challenge today and immediately my stomach sank. This was sent by the owner/founder of my small civil engineering company (about 40 employees). This is still so fresh for me I don’t even really have the words to express how many ways this is a […]

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 1 week ago

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